Thursday, 17 May 2012

For my best girl Evelyn

It's hard to imagine that one year ago tonight I was in hospital, being induced to have my baby, and from the unknown I would have the most amazing, fun and clever girl.  I know that time goes quick and you need to savour every moment, but I had no idea how quick that was going to feel until it happened. 

I remember going for the last walk with just me and my partner, knowing that in a day, there was going to be a little person in our life that would always be around and need us to hold her hand.  Although this day was full of love, it was the most frightening day of my life, half because I had to go through induction and half because there was definitely going to be a baby out of it. 

A long night of induced contractions led to my very comfortable baby to become stressed and we had three separate occasions when baby's heart dropped out and the birthing suite was suddenly filled with midwives and doctors.  You can imagine the horror on my partner Trent's face when he saw the room full of strangers telling me to move different directions while they searched my belly for a heartbeat.  Unfortunately he is more scarred with these memories than I am, with my memory loss a direct result of the gas I was sucking in for most of the night.  Eventually I was prepared for a cesarean section in case I needed an emergency cesarean and ironically I slept like a baby for a couple of hours until morning shift change.  Ten minutes after shift change and baby's heart dropped out again.  It was at this point that they said they wanted to do a cesarean section.  I was very frightened about having major surgery as I have never had any before, and when Trent finally met me in the theatre he very kindly made up a story on the spot to distract me, although in the back of my mind I was waiting to hear the cry of our baby.  Trent had gotten into the story he was telling and being the funny and cool person that he is, he was trying to think of an awesome ending to the story... When a doctor said, "would you like to meet your baby?", and for a moment we were confused.  When Trent came over to me with the baby and told me it was a girl, all of a sudden the world was right again and all the events of that night had for the time being, disappeared into the ether.

Fast forward through the most hardest and sleep deprived year of my life, and I have realised that I have also had the most rewarding year of my life.  And I am generally not a sap (at least not in public), but I truly feel that way.  My little Evelyn is more than I could have hoped for and a year on she is no longer a baby any more.  Evelyn is already turning into a little girl!  Almost running around with a little scientist mind of her own, trying to figure out of things work and learning from me every day.  Whenever she learns something new it blows my mind.  I can't wait to see her grow up into a free-thinking human, hopefully being the best person she can be.

So to my baby girl, Happy 1st Birthday!!  This drawing is for you :)

copyright cassandra bynder 2012

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